Stirling with an "I"

What are they affraid of?

Conservatives constaintly rail aginst the so-called “gay lifestyle” and fear that it will somehow corrupt our children. What exactly are they affraid of?

Here are seven possible answers.

1. “The gay lifestyle promotes playing with matches.”
2. “Terms like “Bear” will confuse our children and make it hard to understand the very real danger presented by, like, actual bears.” 
3. “You know those ascots that all gay people wear? Choking hazard.”
4. “The gay lifestyle promotes talking to strangers” (See Larry Craig et. al.)
5. “If they find out how much fun gay sex is, they wont want to do anything else and they’ll never do their chores.”
6. “Gays make frequent references to ‘poppers’. I had Jalapeno poppers once and was on the toilet for a week. Basically, I’m afraid that the gay lifestyle will give our children food poisoning.”
7. “An awareness of Homosexuality will make it easier for our children to perceive homosexual tendencies in their preachers, parents and/or Republican leadership.”