“Wait, is my wife’s head in that box? Perhaps the fetus of my unborn child? I would like to know now dammit!” #1stdraftmovielines
“This chick is a bagel!” #1stdraftmovielines
“If someone asks you if you are a god, you say ‘let me get back to you on that’!” #1stdraftmovielines
RT @nicomuhly Icelandic people dancing to “black or white” … craziest thing ever. It’s like “it don’t matter if ur sandy or light blond”
Went to a show at Second City e.t.c. last night. Just like UCB but with table service and fat Indiana tourists. So yeah. Nothing like UCB.
July 4th highlight: Watching my wife encourage our daughter to throw Bang Snaps at the G.O.P. float in the parade. “THROW NOW NOW NOW!!”
RIP Steve McNair, who I understand was some sort of soccer player?
I just found out about Sarah Palin! I wonder why she buried it on a Friday before a holiday weekend… Better check her passport #Argentina
The 2012 curse is real!
Jeez @IMDB, tell us what you really think! http://spedr.com/47zt0 #imdbfail
(via admanic2009)
I just saw Terry Richardson outside of Bergdorf’s. I’m pretty sure I have an STD now.
I wonder who will play me in the movie of Meghan McCain’s life. http://spedr.com/4mzvl
Glad to see Billy Mays is finally beating out #iranelection in the trending topics section! #darknightofthesoul
I’ve been waiting years to make an Eva Peron joke…
